Why You Should Leave Your Parents House By 20

This is why the rich succeed, and the poor rarely succeed.

Tobiloba Adejumo
Tobiloba Adejumo

A rich man’s notion of success stems from some kind of personal convictions developed over ample amount of time.

What personal convictions? I will tell you.

Billionaire Richard Brandson defines true success as a measurement of how happy you are.

Arianna Huffington defines true success as a unification of four identites: well-being, wisdom, wonder and giving.

Mark Cuban’s definition of success broke me. In his words:

“To me, the definition of success is waking up in the morning with a smile on your face, knowing it’s going to be a great day. I was happy and felt like I was successful when I was poor, living six guys in a three-bedroom apartment, sleeping on the floor.”

The best definition that intrigued me to write this piece was said by the legendary basketball coach, John Wooden. He said:

“Success is a matter of satisfaction”

Where do all these definitions of success lead to?

John’s definition is priceless. He talks about success in an ambivalent approach. From his definition, we can conclude that being a mediocre is a type of success to some incredible kind of people, provided that you are satisfied with it and happy with it (Richard’s definition corroborates it).

This means that you may be operating on a very basic level, a dimension of average quality or weakness, and maybe, you believe you are effective and successful.

You’ve built a level of irrelevance and you have camped around it.

You are in a place were you are not inspired or propelled, a place of ordinariness and you’re comfortable.

What parable best explains mediocrity?

I didn’t invent this conjectural parable, but let’s imagine I did.

Put five monkeys in a cage. Inside that cage, hang one banana on a string and place a ladder under it. Keep a garden hose nearby. Soon one of the monkeys will spot the banana and start to climb the ladder to get it. When he does, spray all of the other monkeys with cold water. Now, replace the banana.

After a while another one of the monkeys will probably go for the banana. Again, spray all of the other monkeys with cold water.

Monkeys are relatively smart, so pretty soon, whenever one of the monkeys attempts to climb the ladder, all the other monkeys will try to prevent him from doing it. When this happens, put away the cold water hose. Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one. Now hang a new banana over the ladder.

The new monkey will spot the banana and head for the ladder. To his surprise, all of the other monkeys will spontaneously attack him. After several more futile attempts, all of which will result in further beatings, the new monkey will no longer try for the banana.

Remove another of the original monkeys and again replace it with a new one. Now replace the banana. Again, the new monkey will make a grab for it. Like his predecessor he will be stunned to discover that all the other monkeys attack him. In fact, the previous newcomer will most likely take a particularly enthusiastic role in his replacement’s punishment.

One at a time, gradually replace all of the original monkeys with new ones. Each of the newcomers will go for the banana. Each one will be attacked by the other four. Most of the new monkeys have absolutely no idea why they were not allowed to climb the ladder, or why they are participating in the assault on the newest monkey.

When all of the original monkeys have been replaced, none of the remaining monkeys have ever been sprayed with cold water. Nevertheless, not one of those monkeys ever approaches the ladder. Why not? Because as far as they are concerned that’s the way it has always been done around here.

And that is how corporate culture and company policy begins.

Analogy Explained..

Who are the old monkeys in this parable? Your parents

Who are the new monkeys? You

What causes mediocrity?

Mediocrity is caused as result of a retrogressive restoration of the persona. This simply means that there is a collapse in your conscious attitude. The collapse comes in various forms:

Your inability to make decisions on your own.

Your inability to take risks.

Your inability to enjoy the power that comes with solitude.


You still live with your parents | You still live with your guardian

You forget that your identity is different from that of your parents.

You overlook that you have your very own life to live.

You are hopelessly docile and subservient — you would prefer not to offend the feelings of your parents or guardians.

I have questions for you…

How long will you still remain in your parent’s house?

Haven’t you grown to a point where all the answers cannot be found in your parent’s house?

For how long will you plug away in the tyrannical judgement of your parents?

Do you still hold on to the formidable cliche: No one can be a man unless his Father has died?

Are you not aware that death can take place symbolically by ending the tyrant-slave relationship with your parents?

When will you decide to take full control of your life?

If you still choose to remain in your parent’s house and you are above 20, then Pinocchio is smarter than you.

Pinocchio story is indeed a very touching one.

Geppetto, a woodworker, frantically needed a child. He couldn’t withstand the weariness experienced after days’ work. Because of this, he decided to carve himself a puppet from wood. He named this puppet Pinocchio.

Geppetto had an encounter with a Blue Fairy and she made Pinocchio to be able to talk and walk. In spite of the fact that he was as yet made of wood, the Blue Fairy guaranteed to make him a real boy if someday proves to be brave and true. The cute thing about this fairy is that she gave Pinocchio a cricket to assist him settling on insightful decisions.

Geppetto like every other father sent Pinocchio to school. He even went as far as selling his properties to buy books for his wooden son. Such paternal love is unbelievable!

Pinocchio committed some awful errors. Although, he was able to address them through sheer dauntlessness and honesty.

Three Powerful Lessons To Be Learnt

Continuously let your inner voice be your polaris: Pinocchio had the cricket as his inner voice. Although, his father was there to guide him, that didn’t stop his inner voice (cricket) from communicating with him. Sometimes, all you need to do is to listen to your inner voice and hearken to its instructions.

You need to work for the things you need: Pinocchio sacrificed his life for his father. He wanted to be a real boy not just some pieces of timber and plank. He realized that for this to occur, there must be an element of valiance and truism in his action. Your identity is different from that of your parents. If you want to succeed, you need to do the needful!

It’s never past the point where it is possible to make the best decision: Everyone knows Pinocchio as a liar. Even when confronted by the Fairy, he continued lying but that didn’t stop him from becoming a real boy.

You might be above 20 and still living with your parents, it is not too late for YOU to make the best decision.

🌐 Life

Tobiloba Adejumo

Doctoral Candidate, Research Assistant at The University of Illinois Chicago | Biomedical Optics and Ophthalmic Imaging Lab