Permission is overrated

A friend of mine wanted to attend a conference. It was the kind that's invite only, reserved for a select few.

She had no invitation.

So she messaged the company. But she didn't ask to attend. She pitched their product back to them and offered to represent them at the conference for free. She explained why she was the right person to do it.

She got in. She didn't ask for permission. She made permission irrelevant.

I think about this a lot. How many of us are waiting to be chosen when we could just make ourselves undeniable? We rehearse the ask, anticipate the no, and never send the message.

Or worse, we don't even ask because we already know the answer.

I've done this. There was a business course I wanted to take at Northwestern university during my PhD. I never asked because I knew my advisor would say no.

So I protected myself from rejection by rejecting myself first.

But my friend didn't play that game. She didn't ask "can I come?" She asked "what can I offer?"

Different question. Different outcome.

Maybe that's the shift. Stop asking for permission to enter. Start asking what you can bring to the room. No one is going to give you permission to put your best foot forward. You just have to put it forward.